It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
