Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
