last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
50% drunk capacity currently
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
