Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
