She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
