He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
