i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
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Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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