3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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