Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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