Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
