i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
