so that wasnt chicken after all
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
