I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Randomize