I just cut my nipple shaving
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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