When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
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The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
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You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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