I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
