I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
