I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
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How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
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I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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