I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
