And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
