and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
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I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
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He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.