is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away