Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.