My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Randomize