So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I will die if light touches me.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
