Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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