I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
