Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
