she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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