At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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