He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
