if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
