i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
