finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
