It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
