I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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