Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
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