and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
