I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Well I just put wine in my tea
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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