Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
