I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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