he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
