nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
