woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
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