some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
You may now shotgun with the bride
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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