I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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