I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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