I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
