I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
