You really coming over, don't trick.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Randomize
