Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
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