so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Randomize
