Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
