If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
i dont even know how to be here
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
