Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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