I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
