So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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