drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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