remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
