what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
