Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
