He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
