Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
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