im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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