if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
