I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
